By Sheila Musto

You know the quote which goes, ‘The only thing that stays the same is that nothing stays the same?’ Well, a few months ago, I was lulled into that false sense of security that descends when life has been going along predictably well for some time, and distinctly remember sighing to myself, (without smugness but perhaps with some trepidation and that inner longing for a better world), ‘Another year - and all is going well. When will something change?’

Dangerous words! Something happened in a place I’d never heard of – Wuhan, China, and everything changed quicker than you can say Jack Robinson. Five months later we have a new world with effects rippling even into the far-flung valleys and hills of the Kaba. Every day I’m aware of subtle changes taking place here. I want to write them down because there’s more chance of ‘capturing’ them before they fly away as quickly as they came. What are these changes?

We are already isolated and fairly remote at the end of the long and winding Kaba road. But now it feels as if we are seriously far away. Under lockdown, people rarely pop in. Just farm-related vets, cattle buyers and Eskom technicians. No visitors or Sunday outings or touch rugby and pizzas in Kenton. No trips to Grahamstown to sample the delights of The Rat and Parrot. Not one occasion prompting a Leo Sorensen De-tox - yet! (not until the homemade pineapple brew matures) No away-trips to the Wild Coast or Hogsback. We are a small settlement who know that all our requirements for now, must be satisfied here. So the first noticeable change is that a contented, cheerful and patient atmosphere has settled over a typically restless, hasty, grass-is-greener-over-there generation. That’s a huge plus in my book.

Talking of books, that’s another thing. Guys are reading again. Books have become a key part of life for many. I keep getting another request for the next good book. Then there’s often a game of chess, cards or Monopoly being played on the veranda. Journaling (The Daily) has become an important feature every morning, with strains of Mozart and Braveheart piping thru the Quest centre and welcome wafts of breakfast, cheering guys onwards. This time to pause, ponder and record daily life has made the young men more grateful, thoughtful and conscious of making their days count. There’s a tangible striving to pursue character qualities that will stand them in good stead. Great conversations about the big questions of life have flowed from this time.

So our manic, adrenalin-driven lives, normally packed with travel, plans and exciting options, have become quiet. But with quietness, there’s more peace, and with peace there seems to be more capacity for squeezing the juice out of life and enjoying the small things. Funny how less is more, the very thing we learnt from simple, carefree childhoods. The happiest days were often those days made of inexpensive, make-it-up-yourself pleasures. Limitations and peace seem to suit us well and increase our happiness. So counter-intuitive.

I also see in the young men a greater awareness of life’s hardships, our human vulnerability and inability to control life. Deeper appreciation of the preciousness of family and how blessed we have been. I see a wistful homesickness in some eyes and a weariness in all, but that is to be expected.

I notice the Quest men are becoming more stoical and brave, less demanding and entitled.If one has bad news from home, everyone feels it deeply. Compassion has grown while competition and cliques have simmered down. Everyone has a place. Everyone is important. There’s no hurry to prove anything. I know I risk being idealistic and overly optimistic; I know we as humans are utterly flawed to the core, and it’s in our nature to fall short, but having said that, there is a strong core of outstanding young men who are growing like happy, grateful oak trees at the side of a river.

We are often dogged by many infrastructural hassles on the farm; wi-fi ranges from slow, to intermittent to absent; on-going water problems, caused by porcupine digging up water pipes or the heavy levels of iron oxide and carbonates, result in many occasions of discomfort and frustration; Eskom does its usual thing, often resulting in cold water or no water, and yet I am impressed with the patience and gratitude that seems to prevail for the most part. Perhaps the complaining takes place out of earshot but I can’t help being incredibly fond of this emerging, unspoilt, resilient tribe of men. (Spoiling people doesn’t ever help them become happier, although when they are unspoilt, one can’t resist a little spoiling.)

A Quest guy wrote ‘Day 100’ above his Journal entry the other day and I reflected that this long, unbroken thread of time has made us realise that for the foreseeable future, we are all we have, and so people are making the most of friendships. Massive laughter frequently erupts and humour bubbles just under the surface. This is good to see. So perhaps we are better able to be better with everyday friendships without distractions and hedonistic pursuits.

The value in the processes that give structure and meaning to these uninterrupted weeks is profound. The cycles and variety of daily physicals, the Daily journaling, life-coaching, workshop, maintenance, cooking, wood-cutting, vegetable gardening, compost making, butchery skills, carpentry, farm work and business acumen are deeply rewarding. I believe these times are creating an awareness of how much pleasure and skill is derived from these practical hands-on, productive human activities. Producing soup for the hungry, fixing a pump, setting up an irrigation system for the veg garden, chopping wood and arranging it into tidy stacks, transporting it to the township for winter fuel, getting stronger and fitter… these are the things that make for satisfaction, contentment and that happy tiredness at the end of each day. When guys have qualified in their various fields of expertise, and right into ripe old age, I am hoping that they will retain the pleasure of these skills and habits in a world that has lost touch with earth’s realities and basic human needs for structure, service, discipline and good sense.

Lockdown has touched us all in different ways. While at Quest we have not felt the more common strains of isolation in a confined space, the claustrophobia or boredom, loneliness, anxiety or depression, and have been blessed with beauty, massive space and a community of people who are able to work, there is still the strain of a heaving, suffering world that will impact us all in the next years.

One feels the burden of preparing the 2020 Questors for the toughest future since the Great Depression but we really believe that the best we can do for Quest men is to continue teaching character principles. In theory and in practice. Now more so than ever theymust experience how to live wisely. This means getting the right amount of sleep without obstructive and addictive social media or gaming habits, practicing the best early morning rituals, (i.e. good sleep, same time rising, 30-minute ‘pipe-opener’ exercise for release of happy hormones, shower, good hygiene, making one’s bed, cleaning up for oneself, spending time journaling) followed by a healthy breakfast. Respect for the body is fundamental. The men who had to leave us and go home admitted when they returned that they still have a way to go in establishing this daily wisdom. They are more determined than ever to get the basic structure right.

They must experience the benefit of hard, satisfying work with the enjoyment of good rest and fun in between. They must know the satisfaction of being as self-sufficient as possible – growing one’s food, learning about soil, fixing the basics, servicing one’s car. They must learn how to get on with one another and build trust and character marked by integrity, perseverance, self-discipline, courage, and service. They are learning that love is more than just a nice feeling for a pretty girl, but rather is the practice of humility, down-to-earth patience, kindness, self-control, forgiveness etc. as described in 1 Corinthians 13. Most of all we want these men to search for truth with integrity. Men who will want to live for something bigger than their own plans and glory. If we can work toward these goals with God’s help, these special men will be well-equipped to face the challenges of our chastened and sober new world.